Hey everyone! Welcome to my journal. Here's is where you can read about my life and insights. Normally I do a pretty good job of keeping it interesting and a bad job of keeping it at a readable length. So check back often. I try to update around once a week. If a post does arise within the same week of the last one it'll probably a pretty good topic. So please leave a comment here!
Happy LJing.

*Truly insightful piece that I came across in an LJ community
Credit: euphonious_glow


Originally posted at the AfterEllen.com community. Thought it was suitable here too.


I've noticed some interesting things in response to gender expression among certain lesbian and bi women, and I think it's worthwhile to have a post that addresses this concept. In several threads on the AfterEllen.com forum I've seen comments such as "I like girls who look like girls" or any phrase that's generally in that vein.

But what does it mean to be "like a girl/woman?" This is the question I've been asking myself for the past several years as I came to terms with my sexuality and my gender expression. It seems like there is often a tendency to regard femininity, in the stereotypical manner that our culture defines "femininity" or anything that is associated with women to be, in gender expression to be more valid. In at least one post the mod had to step in and point out that people were being disrespectful toward women who are more masculine or butch in presentation.

I'm not posting this topic as a woman who identifies as butch. My gender expression varies from rather traditionally feminine to tomboyish, and even so I've often been faced with doubts about how "real" of a woman I was because of messages that society gives us for how we should act and dress as women.

First of all, I want to look at the concept of what femininity really is. Is it a personality or state of being? Are feminine girls more meek, quiet, happy, uncomplaining, superficial, more emotional and sensitive, unaggressive, uncontroversial? Does it involve interests and hobbies that have been traditionally associated with women, such as cooking, sewing, fashion, etc? Does it involve dressing in the way that is considered more acceptable for women by a largely straight and sexist society, such as form-fitting clothing and uncomfortable shoes that impede movement? But femininity is not weak, even if mainstream society secretly (or not so secretly) thinks so. Why do you think being considered feminine is insulting to a man? Because traditionally female things are not respected in this culture, even if women are expected to stick to them. To be emotional is not weak. To enjoy fashion is not weak. To wear skirts is not weak. To be soft instead of muscular is not weak. I know many feminine women who have gone through hell and back, who have passionately defended their rights to autonomy and choice. The feminine can be powerful, but I doubt that the stereotypical traits of either femininity or masculinity in their entirety exist in any one individual. Femininity is not inherently better or weaker than masculinity.

So, on that note, what does masculinity mean in a woman? Does it really matter? Is a woman any less of a woman because she likes to dress comfortably, or has short hair, or enjoys sports and other traditionally male interests? Lesbians were once considered to be men trapped in women's bodies, because no "real woman" could love another woman. Are confidence and self-assurance only male-associated traits? Is "masculinity" merely a word to bash women for having solid careers, for making their won decisions, for standing up for themselves and their rights? For daring to be as good as any man, for not letting the media and advertisements determine how she feels about her body. For not letting the ideal of the "nice girl" keep her from enjoying sex, or abstaining from sex and not feeling "frigid" or like less of a woman. For not having a relationship or children if she chooses, no matter how much society tells her it is "natural." A masculine woman is beautiful, because she is true to herself and her convictions, regardless of what society tells her to be. It does not make her less of a woman.

Wanna know why my icon features Alex Cabot from Law & Order: SVU? (this is relevant, I promise) Because she's the coolest, most confident, most awesome fucking woman I've ever seen in fiction. On first glance, she looks stereotypically femme, but she is the perfect example of masculinity and femininity existing in one woman. Sure, she dresses classy and feminine, but her attitude, her bearing, is more masculine than any butch woman I've ever known. Just look at that smirk on her lips. On that point, Olivia Benson in seasons 2 and 3 looked fairly butch, and she'll stand up for herself against idiotic sexist men when she needs to, but she is also compassionate and gentle in some ways. But both women fight for their convictions, both in their own way are working to protect victims from those who would abuse and exploit them. I point out these two amazing fictional ladies as perfect examples of how women are more complex than just their appearances, and traits we consider masculine or feminine can exist in the same individual.

We should get beyond this talk of "real" women (and "real" men, for that matter). Women are women, IF they self-identify that way, no matter what their gender expression is, no matter what clothes they wear or how they act. Is there anything sexier than a lipstick lesbian with that glittering look in her eyes that says, "Here is a woman who is confident and self-assured and loves women with all of her being despite the constant messages that society sends her about how her body should look or that she must exist purely to titillate the sexual interest of straight men or that femininity is weak and degrading, who can dominate in the bedroom just as surely as she can dominate in an intellectual conversation?" Or how about a butch lesbian who is secretly as romantic as a shining knight of old, who treats her lady with respect and courtesy, and who is revealed to have soft, beautiful curves and delicious strong muscles underneath her clothing?

Femininity and masculinity are both strong and wonderful and beautiful. I personally believe a balance is perfect, but individuals should be free to be themselves without being considered "less than." Femme does not equal weak or overemotional or selling out to the patriarchy. Butch does not equal overbearing or trying to act like a guy or being a stereotype. Butch, femme, androgynous, whatever. We are ALL 100% real women, whether cis or trans. Whether lesbian or bi (or straight), black or brown or pink or yellow. So let's appreciate the lipstick ladies who show strength in their own way, or the pretty bois who are graceful and proud. Women, united in our attraction and love for each other.

I'm not saying you have to be attracted to every kind of gender expression out there. I'm not saying you have to date butch or femme girls. But keep an open mind, because you may fall deliriously head over heels for a woman you would normally not think of as a romantic interest, because yeah, women really can be that awesome, and looks aren't everything.

If you've read this far, then let's try to make it a point not to judge other women on how feminine or masculine we perceive them to be. Let's try to respect each other as individuals, not as cardboard cutouts. We may express ourselves differently, but we are all here for a reason: we LOVE women. Simple as that, really.

It's currently 2:30AM, April 3, 2009 and I've been home for over an hour from campus. Tonight was our WMB Banquet, and I could be happier with how everything turned out. I was one of the three recipients of the Brad Masters award, and I feel like everyone else who received awards today were definitely deserving of them. It was just in general a really, really good day. Minus the morning I guess.. which was nice in a way of its own.

Afterwards, the group of us headed over to the Spoke for some liquidy good times. How much did I have again? Ah yes, like 4 pints >_> I'm going to admit I'm still tipsy and I can't fall asleep. We've taken some amazing pictures today. Facebook will explode with pictures soon times.

Tomorrow (today) is soph rally. I won't be there... I don't want to be there, I hope I won't even need to see a single soph tomorrow.

On one side, I'm so completely exstatic and excited for the year to come with the WMB. I'm going to miss the grads so much. Then on the other hand, the never-disappearing fact that I won't ever be a soph. HA. I sound like a broken record. geeze, I'm almost disgusted with myself. I'll probably watch unhealthy amounts of video media tomorrow to keep myself distracted. Do I even want to answer my texts tomorrow? Doubt it.

Exams are coming up. I've got 5, on April 14, 16, 19, 21, 28... oh boy. Ah yes, I've been elected as the new Quartermaster to the WMB exec of 09-10. =] hoorah! Before I get to that, a couple of my high school friends are most likely coming up to Western next weekend. I'm excited, I can't wait to see them. A sense of familiarity at this point would be so comforting. I hope Heather'll be able to make it out to dinner too.. I think it'd be nice to finally introduce the two groups of friends. Anyways, that's my update for now.. I'm going to drink some more water to sober up.. and hopefully sleep to keep my mind off things.. I hope tomorrow goes by quickly... oh fuck... Health Sci better not have their predrink just outside my window again... -_-"

The new Health Sci Soph Team of 09-10 is throwing a house party next door. Their loud music, drunken singing, and enthusiastic cheers tell me that they are enjoying themselves and are getting ready for rally this Friday. It looks like I'll get little sleep tonight and I'm in for a depressing week. No matter how hard I try to let go, life won't let me and I just can't get away...

AWWEEEESOME weekend. I just need to work on stop going to bed at such ungodly hours.

Fuck man.. Things couldn't possibly be working out better.

I just emailed my landlord and he's cool with letting my roommate sublet to my friend who will then move in with me for the next year. I just gotta call him and make an appointment with him and Hyoung and things will be good to go. I'll also need to talk with Salma about rent, and then work things out between her, Hyoung and I. Then I'll need to cancel cable, and change over the hydro name.

I was also just puzzling over registering for Intersession. All along I had been planning on taking the second half of Calculus over the summer so that I can finally get that damned credit over with. Well, apparently the section I wanted wasn't available, but there was another one that I could take. Oddly enough I couldn't enroll in it, and it was Summer Session. That really bummed me out, because if I stayed in London in May-June, I'd be here for Heather's birthday, band camp and all that other good stuff. So then I called the parentals and worked things out, and they left everything up to me to decide. I cleared everything, and went to check out if there were any Biology courses I could take that were during Interssion. The only Biology courses available were 2290, Ecology or Evolution. Ecology was during summer session, so I might as well take Calc if I were going for that. 2290 was M-Th 9-12... BOOOO... Evolution is MWF 1-3. BINGO. Hyoung is an Evolution major too.. works out SO perfectly. I'll be here, things are going to work out.. and things are going to be okay.

I haven't said that to myself in a while... "Things are going to be okay."

Aside from that, I'm going to see if I can work in a part time job with all the free time I've got.

This weekend is going to be an exciting one. The Men's Basketball team have made it to the OUA Finals and that is going to be a wicked awesome game! The band will be there of course in our tunicy glory. Also... *drool* Matt Curtis... Afterwards, I'm gonna head over to Heather's place to hang out, eat dinner, movie and such... sleepover! and then go see The Watchmen with her, Ben, Megan and Deborah Sunday. I'm looking forward to it...

"Things are going to be okay."

So uhh... I didn't get an interview.

I called Heather to see where she was and she was in the band room. I went to go see her, and she walked me halfway to class before we had to split. The walk itself wasn't so great, and she knows why. I wasn't really upset with her per se.. since I didn't really know what to think in the first place. On Monday, I said that part of me would be relieved that I didn't make the team, because then there'd be some stress off of my shoulders. I now realize that that is a very small part of me. I can't help but wonder what it is about me that isn't right for the program. It's been two years of trying, and two years of failing. I've got to tell Kat... she had high hopes, heh... right.

I came outta that carousel knowing I wouldn't get an interview too. It's not like I went into the carousel feeling my best. Like I know what all the correct answers are, and how to answer it. I had no will to make myself seem special... I didn't fight to make my voice heard. Considering the group atmosphere, I failed that aspect. I wasn't feeling it, and it's too late to try and make up for any of that now. I almost teared up halfway through cell bio too. Luckily I wasn't too distracted and Megan and I didn't talk much during class.

After classes today, I went to the band room to get ready for the Basketball game. Hyoung was sitting outside, so Deborah and I chatted with her. I told her I didn't get an interview, and she understood right away. I told her that I'm not going to go for it next year, and should I try, I wanted her to stop me. She told me, "I'm not going to stop you, because if I stopped you, it'd mean I didn't think you'd be able to do it and I believe you can." It was nice to hear her say that.

The basketball game was intense. There were easily over 1000 people in the stands. We had both sides of stands open to get more people in. It was awesome. People had things to shake and make loud noises with, and they were into the game. We won 98-66 which is BALLIN'.

I guess that's all from me for now.

I'm not going to go through this again next year.

I am so unbelievably antsy right now. I guess that's understandable, considering tomorrow's the release of the list of applicants who qualify to stage 2 of the HealthSci soph application process. I can't believe I'm putting myself through this again. I think I also find out my mark for the Classics midterm tomorrow. Looking at the Ethics mark really makes me want some good news..
A part of me really wants the interview, so that I can keep trying and be part of this team.. but then there's the other part of me that wouldn't really mind not getting an interview.. because then I can be like, "oh well, I tried, now this is over with.." There's no unbelievable want like the one I had this year.. I walked into the meeting room, and there were over 200 people in there. This team is so foreign to me and doesn't really feel like home. Maybe if I do make it onto the team, I can build a relationship with these guys, and then it'll feel like home.. This is really aggravating in a way too.
On another note. Tomorrow's Tuesday. We all know what happens on Tuesday, oh favourite day of the week, please don't fail me now.

First semester is almost over!!!
I will deliver a year-in-review blog shortly, however, I just need a way to procrastinate from my last exam. It's Biochem, tomorrow night. It will be difficult I know, but I'll be staying up all night, so no worries.
Here is a little to do list for myself once I finish all my exams:
- WMB 12.12 Minutes
- WMB Email regarding availabilities for athletics and halftime show practices for the new year
- Christmas present shopping: Heather, Kenneth, Natalie, David, Parentals, Christmas card for the Williams
- get Rock Band 2 the second day I'm back
- send out Mahjongg party invitation email: date tbd... should be David, Eric and Eunice?
- make sure parents are okay with having me host New Years party
- send out New Year's Party email: Dec 31 (obviously), byob, pizza party or potluck? movies, rockband, fooseball, mj, videogames, board games, etc. Need to make sure there are designated drivers or I'll just have a giant slumber party too...
- visit McDonald's: downtown trip is needed with Rebecca, Komal, Andrew, Izzy, etc... should probably send email and check up on them
That sounds about it... I will probably send out the band emails while I'm at Heather's... eeeeeeee sleepoverrrrr. SO excited =] Will be good times. But first, I have to get past this exam first.
I've already written orgo, critical thinking and classics. Critical thinking went horribly because the 4 days prior to it I had immersed myself in orgo. Classics went well, as expected. Checked my orgo mark... I've gotta say I'm really disappointed... never before have I drained myself so much for one subject... I've noticed it for a while, and it's something I really want to change but haven't figured out/haven't taken the time out to change it yet. I ALWAYS completely understand subjects after giant term tests. It's really irritating, because it's not like I don't know the material. le sigh. Father called me around 8pm... I told him about my mark. He sounded disappointed as well, but he knew how much time I had put into it. Mother hurt her back/neck. I will need to call her some time very soon... I hope she is okay. I need her to be well so that I can play Rock Band with her.
Anyhow, that's enough from me, I need to get cracking on the biochem. Also, if you were interested at all. I'm not as sad as I was on my birthday, it's slowly going over... which is for the better I suppose. I also haven't had any alcohol since my birthday. Anyhow. the 18th and the 19th are days I'm looking forward to. Lots of time devoted to an important person. ^^
Oh yea. Megan commented on a picture of me on facebook. She said she loved me and that I was amazing and adorable.

Considering I just celebrated my 19th birthday, I feel oddly depressed.

Today was supposed to be a good day... What the fuck happened to that?

The band is currently playing a game of assassin. I haven't been killed off yet, but after today's events, I've somehow lost my will to stay in the game. I pulled another all-nighter thanks to those ever-so-wonderful minutes. Why must I be such a perfectionist with them? Like shit...

So this morning, I got two kills, it was nice, and then Heather and I went back to the band room to spend some time with each other. It was nice, until we started wrestling. I seem to be getting increasingly easily agitated lately. I'm sorry, I still don't believe I fought cheap. But whatever, it's over now and things are "cool."

Anyways, so that was interrupted by an unwelcomed text from a friend from home. She just recently broke up with one of my best friends. Both of them want me on their side, and apparently I'm at fault for telling the other what one said to me. Geeze, grow up. I can't believe I got so angry about the text that I had to leave the room and go call Dana. But fuck, I'm such a pushover, I left her a message to give me a call and I apologized. We'll see what happens from here. Randomly my nose started running and Heather probably thought I started crying. I tried to walk about Alumni Hall to cool down but that didn't work. I worked my way back up to the band room. I really didn't want to talk to anyone at that point and I went over to the desk to organize the 72 band members numerically via student number. That was fun. Heather came over and got me to talk about it. Don't worry, I'll tell you later when I'm not half dead. I hadn't been that angry in a while. Heather told me it was probably because I care. Which is untrue because I believed their relationship was doomed to fail anyhow and I really didn't give a shit about it. Their individual friendships with me I did care about, however. Their personalities are so different, it will take a while for me to adjust back to highschool mode...

Heather tried to cheer me up... didn't work. She apologized, but I was never mad at her to begin with, but she messed with my head enough that the text was able to take its toll on me. I was already excessively exhausted and dizzy, this wasn't what I needed right then. She then left for Brescia at 1:15 to go to class and about 10 seconds after the doors closed an uncontrollable stream of tears rolled down my face. It'd been a while since I had last cried. It was soothing in a way. After I regained composure... which took about 3 minutes, I went downstairs and headed over to class.

I couldn't concentrate at all. I chose to sit at the back in one of those side alleys, and I just kept drifting in and out of sleep. I wrote a couple of good notes I guess. I then decided that I wouldn't be able to go to Biochem. I was way too out of it. I went back to the band room and finished the rest of the student numbers I had to write. Then I collapsed and slept for a grand total of 10 minutes. I think I woke up once Heather put her jacket over me. 

Hyoung dropped by later, and she slapped my ass really, really hard. I hadn't felt that kind of pain in a while. It was uncalled for, but kind of needed. It made me laugh, and I really needed that.

The exec meeting tonight lasted approximately 3 hours. I am very unimpressed and I can legitimately say I hate meetings. The next 48 hours are going to be brutal for me. I'm going to catch up on some sleep now before those are whisked away from me as well.

October 3-5. Western Homecoming 2008. It was pretty much amazing the entire time. Technically it's my first Homecoming since I kind of slept through all of last year's. I was also told that this would be my last sober one. I shall begin Regine's day-by-day recap.

( Onward, to the stuff! )

So today I attended my second orgo lab. I never really look forward to them because they're individual labs and I don't know anyone in it. Anyways, we were doing extractions today and got to work with acids that had high molar concentrations. Each person had a stopcock to work with and that device helped them titrate their solution to get each layer. My stop cock happened to suck, and every time I went to go turn the knob to relieve the pressure inside the glass tube, little bits of solution would come flying at me. Luckily there was a glass panel in between the liquid and my face. I couldn't say the same thing for my hands though. Anyways, I was working with some 3M HCl, when the stopcock shot some at my finger, at first it didn't register because I was like, "ehh, I'll wipe it on my lab coat later." All of a sudden there's this great sting and I realize the solution is eating through my skin. Luckily these were individual labs, so I gritted my teeth and hung on tight to the stopcock to make sure I wouldn't drop it and continued the procedure. It didn't even occur to me that I should put it down and go wash my hand. Anyways, after a while, I finally admitted that the stinging wouldn't stop so I wiped my hand on my lab coat (still refusing to go wash it). I looked at my finger and there's a little bit of a hole in the side of it. I was like, "great... now there's skin hanging off the side of my finger," (except it's not as bad as it sounds...)

Anyways, so I continued the procedures, and then it came time to work with the 3M NaOH, and AGAIN the stopcock shot liquid at my fingers. Wow... so since it's basic, it doesn't sting. Unfortunately, we're talking about me here. The liquid slides down my hand and reaches the part where the 3M HCl had touched and begins to react with it. Thus further deepening the whole in my finger. Now that I had NaOH eating into the side of my finger as well, I reluctantly dropped what I was doing and went over to the sink to wash my hands. As I'm washing my hands, I realized just how basic my hands were because it felt like I had applied a layer of soap everywhere.

Please don't ask me to show you my finger... because it's like this pathetic slit in the side of my finger and you'll just call me a pansy. My mom bought me a box of 20 Hello Kitty band aids when I moved in here, and then in a letter, Heather gave me two more Hello Kitty band aids. They make me so happy. I already had to use one for my thumb when I peeled off too much skin and it almost got infected. This little acidic accident doesn't deserve a Hello Kitty band aid, and I'm content to stay at 21.

Thought I'd leave a little blog here because I don't really want to start work.

The band went to Queen's yesterday for the football game, which also happened to be their homecoming. It was quite an eye-opening experience. It was really amazing how they have so many different traditions there. Also, the alumni (well.. the older ones anyway) were really nice. Too bad that's all the good things I have to say about that university at the moment.

The convoy was a lot of fun. I was in the drum line van. A little out of place for an Alto Sax player, I know, but HA... I was on the drum line van. =b We thought we were going to be SUPER tight for time, but it turns out we made great time. We made it to Kingston in about four and a half hours, instead of the expected 5 and a little bit. The fans were rude, to put it simply. We had a whole slew of pop bottles thrown at us, they were plastic so obviously they'd hurt. They also exploded upon impact with the track we were walking on. They also had these plush footballs that the Queen's spirit squads threw to them. Luckily those weren't hard, though 3 did hit my head. We also had cans and pizza boxes. I was no amused, and it's really angering to know that some people don't have the decency to realize you don't throw things at people. Anyways, there was also this other guy that tried to pick a fight with the drum line for wearing sunglasses... ha... dumbass wouldn't have known what hit him if he actually did try to start shit.

Let's talk about the good things about the trip. Which almost entirely occurred during the convoy. We got to wake up at 5am! I got around 3 hours of sleep, which was alright haha. A couple of people were no shows which was unfortunate. Megan managed to slip a potato into my backpack through all of the excitement, and I didn't find out until later on the way there when I was digging threw my backpack for my DS. We sang songs, and napped. The vans were really comfortable. Too bad they ended up to be SO damn expensive. On the way back, we stopped at a rest stop and I bought two Mama burgers from A&W for $4.20 I ate one there and saved the second for later because I knew I'd be hungry. It was a great idea, too bad Heather didn't think it was too... haha...

Today was the third set of carousels for the band. They were always enjoyable. There's this kid, he's in my section... He's nice I suppose... but uh, really weird, and says things that just aren't cool. Also, I threw a potato at a girl. I felt really bad, because she wasn't looking when I threw it at her... Oh well, that's a new band tradition. Also, Heather broke my potato, I am unhappy with her.

School is going decently. I've been keeping up with all my readings and I've been going to class. That's on top of all the band, band paperwork, meetings and socials I've been going to. I'm behind in orgo homework questions though. That's worrying me a little bit. There's also this biochem assignment due a week tomorrow that I haven't started. I hear it's difficult, so I should probably get moving on that too. Anyhow, that's pretty much all the updating from me. Tomorrow is rehearsal and I'll have lots more paperwork to do from the new members at carousel today.

Regine. Out.

I believe that is the official sign that summer is over as well. A part (though a small part) of me is sad that it is over, I can no longer sit around for hours on end doing nothing.Though for the most part I am thrilled to be able to do something with my life. The 2008-2009 school year is the year to redeem myself. After an enjoyable, though disastrous first year, I can't wait to get my life back on track. Frosh week was nostalgic, and I want to be able to be in it... I want to be able to live it.
I've come to terms that I'll never get over not being a soph this year, but I know that I don't have to be a jerk about it either. It was my own fault, and the only thing I can do to right that wrong is to be a better student. I'm here to get an education, not to fool around. I'm just very grateful I've gotten a second chance to go to school.

So, promotion with the band went well this week, the halftime show was decent, and in general I was exhausted. It hurt every time I saw the Alumni House team, or every time I saw Heather... I know that's not something I should say, but that's how I feel nonetheless. So a large part of why I'm happy would be that I don't have to see them in uniform constantly now. Though Scout (aka Tree Hugger) has a gift for me... Lilaya told me it was a t-shirt, probably with BABY CHOMPS on the back, but I'd like to know what it is... I'm very curious about it.
Yesterday, I went textbook shopping. Saw Mark in the middle of it, we bought our books together, and then ate lunch. I guess I spent ~$300... which isn't so bad, for the semester. I just have one more book to grab.
My schedule is pretty great too, though Wednesdays really look like a drag at the moment. Luckily the Wednesday night lab isn't weekly =]

Term 1 Schedule
Time	Mon	Tues	Wed	Thurs	Fri
7:00 AM
7:30 AM
8:00 AM
8:30 AM
9:00 AM
9:30 AM			HEALTSCI 2800 LAB 006 HSB-14
10:00 AM
10:30 AM
11:00 AM
11:30 AM	HEALTSCI 2600F LEC 001 SSC-2050		HEALTSCI 2600F LEC 001 SSC-2050
12:00 PM
12:30 PM	CHEM 2213A LEC 001 NCB-101		CHEM 2213A LEC 001 NCB-101		CHEM 2213A LEC 001 NCB-101
1:00 PM
1:30 PM	HEALTSCI 2600F TUT 002 TH-3154	HEALTSCI 2800 LEC 001 HSB-40		HEALTSCI 2800 LEC 001 HSB-40
2:00 PM
2:30 PM	CLASSICS 1000 LEC 002 NS-1		CLASSICS 1000 LEC 002 NS-1		CLASSICS 1000 LEC 002 NS-1
3:00 PM
3:30 PM		BIOCHEM 2280A LEC 002 NCB-101		BIOCHEM 2280A LEC 002 NCB-101	BIOCHEM 2280A LEC 002 NCB-101
4:00 PM
4:30 PM
5:00 PM
5:30 PM
6:00 PM			CHEM 2213A LAB 022
6:30 PM
7:00 PM
7:30 PM
8:00 PM
8:30 PM
9:00 PM
9:30 PM

Term 2 Schedule
Time	Mon	Tues	Wed	Thurs	Fri
7:00 AM
7:30 AM
8:00 AM
8:30 AM
9:00 AM
9:30 AM			HEALTSCI 2800 LAB 006 HSB-14
10:00 AM
10:30 AM
11:00 AM
11:30 AM
12:00 PM
12:30 PM
1:00 PM
1:30 PM	BIOLOGY 2382B LEC 001 NCB-101	HEALTSCI 2800 LEC 001 HSB-40	BIOLOGY 2382B LEC 001 NCB-101	HEALTSCI 2800 LEC 001 HSB-40
2:00 PM
2:30 PM	CLASSICS 1000 LEC 002 NS-1	HEALTSCI 2610G TUT 008 TH-3154	CLASSICS 1000 LEC 002 NS-1	HEALTSCI 2610G LEC 001 NS-1	CLASSICS 1000 LEC 002 NS-1
3:00 PM
3:30 PM	HEALTSCI 2450B LEC 001 HSB-40
4:00 PM
4:30 PM			HEALTSCI 2450B TUT 002 HSB-40
5:00 PM
5:30 PM
6:00 PM
6:30 PM
7:00 PM
7:30 PM
8:00 PM
8:30 PM
9:00 PM
9:30 PM

Well... That took a little bit more space than I predicted.... lol

It's going to be a good year, I'm looking forward to it.

I move back to London in two days. I've been hanging out with the old crew a lot lately because of all the free time on my hands since I quit McDonald's last Friday. In the back of our minds we all know that we have few days left together before we're thrown back into normal routines.

Saturday was Danusha's birthday party, so a bunch of us went to Jack Astor's to celebrate and then to Robyn's afterwards for some sandman, poker and mafia.
Monday night Danusha, Carol, Rachel and I went to Ten, an upper class restaurant on Lakeshore, and then we went for icecream (well... milkshake for me because of my lack of icecream skills). We took a walk by the lake, and the weather was nice and the wind felt cool on my skin. We then went to Blockbuster to rent a scary movie, err... attempted to rent a scary movie. Rachel had some difficulty allowing us to pick some intense ones. So in the end we settled on 1408. Don't rent it.
Eric and David came over yesterday to play some mj, too bad Val couldn't make it so my dad filled the empty spot near the end of the night and smoked us.

My dad called our landlord a couple of days ago, and he said that the tenant in the apartment before us still hasn't moved out yet. He says that everything will be in place by this Saturday, but I'm feeling extremely doubtful. With O-Week preparations coming up for the band and everything else, I can't afford to find another place with such short notice. Hyoung is currently being a bushwoman so I can't really contact her either. I'm just praying the timing will work out and that my apartment will be ready for my move in. Why must things be so unnecessarily stressful?
To add to the stress, I've been having nightmares this week. They're not really scary, per se, but always put me in this state of constant anxiety. I wake up in my room and I realize that I'm late for class. I can't find my schedule and I have no idea where my first class is or what time it's at. Which means I'd have to run to campus but I wouldn't know where to run to. At this point I'm angry, frustrated and stressed, but I'm still running around my room searching for a schedule that isn't there. Then I'd wake up and be relieved it was just a dream.
Two nights later I have the same dream, except at the part where I was supposed to wake up, I run to the washroom to wash my face. I look up into the mirror and my face and entire body is covered in boils and welts. I can still remember my arm reaching up to feel my face and arm, and the texture was so real I can still feel it on my fingertips. I'm very grateful that dream hasn't come back in the past two nights.

But on the other hand, I'm really excited to be back in London and back on campus. I'm really looking forward to having some me-time and having my own space. I'll have to get used to my schedule and stuff, but that should be enjoyable. It'll be exciting to see all the new frosh, and to see all the people from Glenforest move up.

Before I can enjoy any of that... I have to work on taking 5000 pictures off of my two flickr accounts to put on my mothers digital picture frame. It's quite annoying when I have her nag me all the time. Especially when I only have two days to complete it and I have to download each picture individually.

Band... oh band. I miss band. I miss everything about band. More importantly I have an enormous stack of paperwork waiting for me to do after carousel and registration. I anxious for it, looking forward to it even. My little black binder is eagerly waiting to be filled.

EDIT: Father just called the landlord and everything is a go for Saturday. Definitely breathing a sigh of relief.

I spent the past weekend up at Owen Sound with my family and some family friends, and yesterday we spent some time at Sauble Beach. The weather was gorgeous and the water was warm. I was sitting on the beach talking to mother... or maybe it was father... anyways, suddenly I heard a *splat* and my knee felt really warm. I looked over to my right and there was some fresh bird shit. I cursed in Cantonese and ran for the water while 10 people laughed at me.

In two weeks I'll be returning to Sauble Beach for a weekend with a group of amazing people, the AHouse soph team. I have a hunch that some drinking will be involved, though I'm going to try my very best to avoid that. I went to London on the 30th to hand in my appeal. I'm still waiting on the doctor's note from my chiropractor so that I can fax it in. I'm praying that it'll go through. 

I think I'm going to take up the piano again, not with a piano teacher and everything though. I'll feel like I've wasted my entire life if I don't return those skills at least to a grade 9. Once I get that, I'll pick a couple gr10 pieces to practice. I'm confident enough in my own skills to believe that I can do it without a teacher. First things first though, I'll need to stop spending so much time on this damn laptop. 

Speaking of things I need to do during the summer, there's a beautiful 1000-piece puzzle that I need to put together, that I've got tucked in the corner of my room. I'll also need to put a couple hundred pictures into mother's digital picture frame, alone with music. Unfortunately I dropped my harddrive two days ago, so I'll need to see if I can get it fixed so that I can transfer some files. I hope it's salvagable... my poor movies. -_-"

Working makes me want to smoke. All the kids I hang out with do it and they know I like the smell, but I won't do it. So they've made it a happen to breathe it on me. I don't think I like it so much anymore. So instead, I've turned to gambling even more. Scratches... I do love my scratchies, and a group of friends and I got together and bought a $12-Super 7 ticket. oh yerrrr

Hopefully the good ol' gang will get together soon this summer? I miss my music nerds. I'll plan a trip to the TSO if I have to. Also, Whatever happened to our MJ get together?

 The taste is awful, especially first thing in the morning. Be careful what you wish for. My cannabalistic thoughts did not go as planned. Let me start from the beginning so that this makes more sense.

Disclaimer: The contents of the following blog are rated 14A and is not suitable for younger audiences. Reader discretion is advised.

So as most of you know, I had one of my 4 wisdom teeth taken out a couple of weeks ago. Approximately last week, I began to notice swelling on my gum near the removed tooth. So I thought to myself, "hm... perhaps I should just take care of the place where that tooth used to be better." I just left it alone, thinking that the swelling would stop. However, the amounts of McDonald's food that I've been consuming really doesn't help the case. Obviously, the swelling did not stop, of subside. Instead, the swelling grew larger.

So last night, as I was feeling it with my tongue, I thought, "hmm... this doesn't feel like a normal swollen jaw, and it's near the first molar, which nowhere near the removed tooth. Let's take a look in the mirror." To my horror, there was a large blood blister growing out the side of my gum. It was about the size of a dime... no, not 10 pennies or two nickels, just a dime.

Naturally, knowing me, I would pop it. So I did. [insert exploding guts noise here] The blood began pouring out of the blister and running down the side of my face.This all happened so fast, that I just couldn't stop staring into the blood sea that was my mouth. Aisde from not being able to stop staring, I forgot to stop applying pressure with my fingers, so the blood continually flowed. I finally regained composure and spat out the blood that was in my face, and resumed cleaning the wound.

Now with the taste of blood fresh in my mouth, the adrenaline was pumping. The dangling leftover pieces of flesh from the blood blister had grown limp and lifeless, so pinching it with my fingers, I ripped it out of my mouth and unceremoniously flung it it into the sink where the water drained it away. That went on for about 5 minutes, blood still flowing down my face. I had to wash it a couple times. When I was all done and satisfied with my removal job, I wiped the counter clean.

By now, it was about 1:15 and I rushed over to the next room to wake my parents up and inform them. Mother went to the washroom with me to get a better view, and immediately said it was because of the lack of sleep combined with fried foods. *Ding!* Right on the button. Father just continued to lay in bed and told me to go to bed. She looked at it, then went back to bed, whereas I went back to the washroom to look at it some more and do some touch-up cleaning. Finally I went to the kitchen, put some ice in a ziplock bag and a paper towel, and resumed icing my jaw like I had done a couple of weeks ago.